Sunday, 30 April 2017

#2141

"Help," cried the cook as the flames engulfed him, "I'm in my element!"

Saturday, 29 April 2017

#2140

What do you call someone who owns a lot of buildings where wheat is ground to make flour?

A mill-ionaire.

Friday, 28 April 2017

#2139

What kind of salamander chops down the most trees?

An ax-o-lot-l.

Thursday, 27 April 2017

#2138

What do you call the sound that your stomach makes when it is hungry for liquor?

Rum-bling.

Wednesday, 26 April 2017

#2137

What do you call the coordinator of a telephone switchboard who reviews classical singing performances?

The opera-rater.

Tuesday, 25 April 2017

#2136

Why do people with coeliac disorder never do squats?

They're allergic to glutes.

Monday, 24 April 2017

#2135

What cheese is the least favourite of prisoners?

Fetter cheese.

Sunday, 23 April 2017

#2134

What do you call a scorned woman who ruins jokes?

A funny foiler.

Saturday, 22 April 2017

Friday, 21 April 2017

#2132

Nicole fiercely guarded all the objects that she had torn from the grasp of others; they were her prised possessions.

Thursday, 20 April 2017

#2131

Which fictional bear is the softest fictional bear?

Paddington.

Wednesday, 19 April 2017

Tuesday, 18 April 2017

#2129

What do you call disgusting purchases from a supermarket?

Gross-eries.

Monday, 17 April 2017

#2128

What do fruit vendors use to provide evidence for their opinions?

Facts and fig-ures.

Sunday, 16 April 2017

Saturday, 15 April 2017

#2126

What do you call the study of irate farmers?

Angry-culture.

Friday, 14 April 2017

#2125

What do you call an homage to a shoe?

A tri-boot.

#2124

A: Why wasn't there a post yesterday?

B: The writer was too angry about the lack of electricity to write anything.

A: What do you mean?

B: There was a power outrage.

A: And also he couldn't post to this blog if there was no power?

B: No, that joke's been cut.

Wednesday, 12 April 2017

#2123

What kind of fabric is named after the creases left in it by buttocks?

Sat-in.

Tuesday, 11 April 2017

#2122

What is the appropriate way to phrase a request for the withdrawal of a record from a playlist?

"Scratch that."

Monday, 10 April 2017

#2121

What do you call the students of a church furniture designer?

Pew-pils.

Sunday, 9 April 2017

#2120

Tahlia the rugby referee hated high-scoring games; they were always a trying time.

Saturday, 8 April 2017

#2119

What is a bird's favourite scientific instrument?

A beaker.

Friday, 7 April 2017

#2118

What do you call it when archaeologists hold a party where they gather leg bones?

A shindig.

Thursday, 6 April 2017

#2117

What is the favourite team building exercise of bakers?

Crust falls.

Wednesday, 5 April 2017

#2116

A: Out of all the ancient cultures, the Egyptians had the coolest cats.

B: No, the coolest cats were in the Jazztecs.

Tuesday, 4 April 2017

#2115

What did the miner say about the other miner who had found a vein of ore?

"Get a lode of this guy!"

Monday, 3 April 2017

Guest Post #7 - Ben Volchok

"Boo" - ghost heckler

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Ben Volchok is on Twitter.
His show Ben's Illustrious Fact Show and the Case of the Stolen Fact Book is on this week at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

Sunday, 2 April 2017

Guest Post #6 - Ben Volchok

If they printed the weather on coins it would be climate change.

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Ben Volchok is on Twitter.
His show Ben's Illustrious Fact Show and the Case of the Stolen Fact Book is on this week at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

Saturday, 1 April 2017

Guest Post #5 - Ben Volchok

I really appreciate you getting me this Mexican walking fish. Thanksalotl.

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Ben Volchok is on Twitter.
His show Ben's Illustrious Fact Show and the Case of the Stolen Fact Book is on this week at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.