Wednesday, 30 March 2016


What do you call ornamental wire decorations on a young mare?


Tuesday, 29 March 2016


What kind of fish perform deceptive undercover operations for the fish police?

Sting rays.

Monday, 28 March 2016


The mousetrap manager was quick to an opinion; he couldn't resist making snap judgements.

Sunday, 27 March 2016


Why do students learn best when near researches working on alternatives to regular post?

Because they're in the zone of Proxy-Mail Development.

Saturday, 26 March 2016


What do you call a french fries, cheese, and gravy spread upon crackers?

Poutine on the Ritz.


A: Why wasn't there a post yesterday?

B: The writer took a break to research the effects of stretching on female reproductive systems.

A: Please don't sa-

B: He was on long cervix leave.

Thursday, 24 March 2016


The new progressive prison warden criticised the currently used chains for being excessively fetteronormative.

Wednesday, 23 March 2016


How did Annalene the seabird catcher encourage cooperation among her students?

She used a tern-taking activity.

Tuesday, 22 March 2016


What do you call it when a king interrupts an accolade for a sandwich?

A mid-knight snack.

Monday, 21 March 2016


Which US Democrat slogan called for greater engagement with the capital of Switzerland?

"Feel the Bern."

Sunday, 20 March 2016


Aaron the ice cream vendor always piled heaps onto his deluxe specials - he never missed mass on a sundae.

Saturday, 19 March 2016


As the sumo wrestler's horse reached the last turn, it dug deep - it knew that there was a lot riding on this.

Friday, 18 March 2016


Why did the atheist quadratic equation refuse to acknowledge the cubic equation?

It didn't believe in a higher power.

Thursday, 17 March 2016


Annelisa was relieved by the chance to talk to someone about her bra problems - it was good to get it off her chest.

Wednesday, 16 March 2016


Why don't fields like being watered?

It's a very irrigating process.

Tuesday, 15 March 2016


A: Did you like the new ceiling fan?

B: Yes! It thoroughly blew me away.

Monday, 14 March 2016


What do you call someone who's never seen a tree?


Sunday, 13 March 2016


A: It says here that the ice cream vendor has decided to only sell vanilla in an attempt to maximise profits.

B: Well, he's not doing himself any flavours.

Saturday, 12 March 2016


What do you call a Sith Lord try to walk through a deep lake?

Darth Wader.

Friday, 11 March 2016


After the cattle started returning their uneaten hay to the farmer by means of protest, he began to worry about the negative feedback.

Thursday, 10 March 2016


Which country in the British Isles is the best at swimming and singing?


Wednesday, 9 March 2016


Which Biblical story describes a boy who is beaten with an iron bar after wasting his father's fortune?

The prod-igal son.

Tuesday, 8 March 2016


What do you call a feeling of disgruntlement at having to mail something twice?


Monday, 7 March 2016

Sunday, 6 March 2016


In what kind of water are objects most buoyant?

Spring water.

Saturday, 5 March 2016


What do you call the everyday speech in A Journey To The Center Of The Earth?

The Verne-acular.

Friday, 4 March 2016


What do you call a process by which amphetamines can be made?

A meth-od.

Thursday, 3 March 2016

Wednesday, 2 March 2016


Which Disney film tells the story of Rapunzel's struggle with geometry?



A: Why was there no post yesterday?

B: Beware the Ides of March!

A: That's the 15th.

B: Beware the Lieds of March!

A: That's not a thing.

B: Please stop the Chides of March!