Sunday 30 September 2012

#474

What happened when the police caught the criminal with heart problems?

They placed him under cardiac arrest.

Saturday 29 September 2012

#473

I feel that Slenderman is promoting an unrealistic body image among young people.

Friday 28 September 2012

#472

The furniture disagreed about who should be the chair of their meeting.

Thursday 27 September 2012

#471

Lady Gaga is very popular among the cast of Sesame Street, all of whom identify as little monsters.

Wednesday 26 September 2012

#470

If we sugarcoat our surveillance cameras, we may be able to catch people on candied camera.

Tuesday 25 September 2012

#469

Martin hated cricket - to him, it looked like the same thing over and over again.

Monday 24 September 2012

#468

The art of Jackson Pollock fetches very high prices - some people will really splash out for his work.

Sunday 23 September 2012

#467

The haemotologist and the hip hop producer found some solidarity as they lamented the difficulty of finding good samples.

Saturday 22 September 2012

#466

Sean's loose, expansive walking style drew people towards him; they felt invited by his open gait.

Friday 21 September 2012

#465

There are many terrible stigmas associated with plant reproduction.

Thursday 20 September 2012

#464

Noah was the only person in his time with the necessary knowledge for his task, which most people dismissed as arkane.

Wednesday 19 September 2012

#463

A: Do you know the young swan who signed this?

B: Yes, I am acquainted with the cygnetory.

Tuesday 18 September 2012

#462

What did Yoda say to the uncertain baker?

"Do or doughnut, there is no try."

Monday 17 September 2012

#461

Why is surgery like Commedia dell'Arte?

All participants are required to wear masks in the theatre.

Sunday 16 September 2012

#460

Requiring that people have RSAs to serve alcohol is a classic example of one of Althusser's RSAs.

Saturday 15 September 2012

#459

Why is the name Saed like a rave party?

Without the E, it's just sad.

Friday 14 September 2012

#458

The geometer, the pastry chef, and the percussionist all became involved in a love triangle.

Thursday 13 September 2012

Wednesday 12 September 2012

#456

The toothbrush designer, deeply offended, bristled with indignation.

Tuesday 11 September 2012

#455

Max hated transvestite meetings - they always tended to drag.

Monday 10 September 2012

#454

I want to start a Twitter account, but I'm afraid that I would make a hash of it.

Sunday 9 September 2012

#453

When she couldn't think of a rice recipe, Imogen the chef always had a last risotto.

Saturday 8 September 2012

#452

Sam was going to use his slimline gamepad to play the Thomas the Tank Engine game, but he soon realised that he really ought to use a fat controller.

Friday 7 September 2012

#451

It was time to transmit electricity, and Camden the cable knew that he had to lead the charge.

Thursday 6 September 2012

#450

The only error in Leonard's performance had been an accidentally flattened third, but he considered that to be a minor glitch.

Wednesday 5 September 2012

#449

The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea, not in a pea-green boat, but in an owl-and-catamaran.

Tuesday 4 September 2012

#448

Once people start talking about kangaroos, a reference to the way they move is bound to be made.

Monday 3 September 2012

#447

A: I'm thinking about making a horror computer game.

B: May I please slend-a hand?

Sunday 2 September 2012

#446

Ensure that your computer has enough RAM, or ewe may risk looking sheepish.

Saturday 1 September 2012

#445

I know that it's wrong to connect puppies to batteries, but it's so electrocute!