Sunday, 30 September 2012


What happened when the police caught the criminal with heart problems?

They placed him under cardiac arrest.

Saturday, 29 September 2012


I feel that Slenderman is promoting an unrealistic body image among young people.

Friday, 28 September 2012


The furniture disagreed about who should be the chair of their meeting.

Thursday, 27 September 2012


Lady Gaga is very popular among the cast of Sesame Street, all of whom identify as little monsters.

Wednesday, 26 September 2012


If we sugarcoat our surveillance cameras, we may be able to catch people on candied camera.

Tuesday, 25 September 2012


Martin hated cricket - to him, it looked like the same thing over and over again.

Monday, 24 September 2012


The art of Jackson Pollock fetches very high prices - some people will really splash out for his work.

Sunday, 23 September 2012


The haemotologist and the hip hop producer found some solidarity as they lamented the difficulty of finding good samples.

Saturday, 22 September 2012


Sean's loose, expansive walking style drew people towards him; they felt invited by his open gait.

Friday, 21 September 2012


There are many terrible stigmas associated with plant reproduction.

Thursday, 20 September 2012


Noah was the only person in his time with the necessary knowledge for his task, which most people dismissed as arkane.

Wednesday, 19 September 2012


A: Do you know the young swan who signed this?

B: Yes, I am acquainted with the cygnetory.

Tuesday, 18 September 2012


What did Yoda say to the uncertain baker?

"Do or doughnut, there is no try."

Monday, 17 September 2012


Why is surgery like Commedia dell'Arte?

All participants are required to wear masks in the theatre.

Sunday, 16 September 2012


Requiring that people have RSAs to serve alcohol is a classic example of one of Althusser's RSAs.

Saturday, 15 September 2012


Why is the name Saed like a rave party?

Without the E, it's just sad.

Friday, 14 September 2012


The geometer, the pastry chef, and the percussionist all became involved in a love triangle.

Thursday, 13 September 2012

Wednesday, 12 September 2012


The toothbrush designer, deeply offended, bristled with indignation.

Tuesday, 11 September 2012


Max hated transvestite meetings - they always tended to drag.

Monday, 10 September 2012


I want to start a Twitter account, but I'm afraid that I would make a hash of it.

Sunday, 9 September 2012


When she couldn't think of a rice recipe, Imogen the chef always had a last risotto.

Saturday, 8 September 2012


Sam was going to use his slimline gamepad to play the Thomas the Tank Engine game, but he soon realised that he really ought to use a fat controller.

Friday, 7 September 2012


It was time to transmit electricity, and Camden the cable knew that he had to lead the charge.

Thursday, 6 September 2012


The only error in Leonard's performance had been an accidentally flattened third, but he considered that to be a minor glitch.

Wednesday, 5 September 2012


The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea, not in a pea-green boat, but in an owl-and-catamaran.

Tuesday, 4 September 2012


Once people start talking about kangaroos, a reference to the way they move is bound to be made.

Monday, 3 September 2012


A: I'm thinking about making a horror computer game.

B: May I please slend-a hand?

Sunday, 2 September 2012


Ensure that your computer has enough RAM, or ewe may risk looking sheepish.

Saturday, 1 September 2012


I know that it's wrong to connect puppies to batteries, but it's so electrocute!