Tuesday, 30 September 2014


What kind of dog is also a green vegetable?

A broc-collie.

Monday, 29 September 2014


Which country is responsible for most of the world's spam?


Sunday, 28 September 2014


A: I need you to find the screwdriver.

B: Is this it?

A: That's the ticket.

B: Oh. I thought it was a screwdriver. I'll keep looking.

Saturday, 27 September 2014

Friday, 26 September 2014


The junior sergeant, frustrated at missing out on yet another promotion, rankled with rage.

Thursday, 25 September 2014

Wednesday, 24 September 2014


Where do ironers address the media?

At a press conference.

Tuesday, 23 September 2014


What is the favourite dish of Greek mechanics?


Monday, 22 September 2014


What does a farmer use to wake up on time?

An alarm cock.

Sunday, 21 September 2014


Romanian universities are growing increasingly concerned about a prevalence of Vlad culture.

Saturday, 20 September 2014


After being bribed by dessert manufacturers, the nutritional values authority had a tendency to fudge their results.

Friday, 19 September 2014


After an argument, many couples like to reconcile by imagining minor religious denominations together. Some claim that fighting is worth it for the make-up-sects.

Thursday, 18 September 2014


The cinema manager's psychological issues revolved around her habit of projecting.

Wednesday, 17 September 2014


The toymaker considered building some plush toys, but eventually decided that he couldn't be stuffed.

Tuesday, 16 September 2014


What's the worst punishment for someone who hates card games?

Solitaire confinement.

Monday, 15 September 2014


Which rapper was famous for only showing off one third of his abs?


Sunday, 14 September 2014


What did the snake charmer say in Nicki Minaj's bakery?

"My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns."

Saturday, 13 September 2014


The manicurist's accounts were organised in a meticulous filing system.

Friday, 12 September 2014


"I value your input."

Regina's partner had asked her to be more vocal during sex.

Thursday, 11 September 2014


The mildly famous army recruiter was an N-list celebrity.

Wednesday, 10 September 2014


Katia had never intended to be a secret agent; her curious nature had simply spy-ralled out of control.

Tuesday, 9 September 2014


"Do you think the blind guy was the murderer? I'm not certain of it, it's just a stab in the dark."

Monday, 8 September 2014


How do couples get back together after breaking up?

They re-pair their relationship.

Sunday, 7 September 2014


A: There's been a kidnapping in the land of Hyrule!

B: Oh no! We must find the missing Link!

Saturday, 6 September 2014


"Aha! We shall never need chickens again!"

Hillary had not quite grasped the concept of eggplants.

Friday, 5 September 2014


The necrophiliac was happy to eat the overcooked rejects from the pie shop; after all, she was used to having crusty things in her mouth.

Thursday, 4 September 2014


Applause was forbidden at the sexual health conference, for fear of spreading the clap.

Wednesday, 3 September 2014


The anarchistic fence-builder railed against the system.

Tuesday, 2 September 2014


The thrill-seeking painter enjoyed many a brush with danger.

Monday, 1 September 2014


What style of music is most popular among the homeless?