Thursday 28 July 2011

Tuesday 19 July 2011

#73

Why are bad play rehearsals like messy pool rooms?

Everyone keeps missing their cues.

#72

I work in a vegetable shop. I have an annual celery.

#71

Death by drowning: water way to go.

#70

What Descartes actually said:

I float, zerefore I am. I sink, zerefore I vill not be for much longer.

#69

The fact that you're grabbing onto that German shows that you're losing this argument. You're just clutching at Strauss.

#68

In order to play in the key of B flat, a musician must have A sharp mind.

#67

I had forgotten that you go running - the sight of you jogged my memory.

#66

De fence is de simplest physical defence.

Sunday 10 July 2011

#65

A: You don't need bread.

B: Sure you don't. You knead dough. Then you get bread.

#64

I find it horribly racist that some shops do not accept Czechs.

#63

I tried to accustom myself to drinking hard liquor, but I struggled to enter into the spirit of things.

#62

Would anyone like more cake? Speak now, or forever hold your piece.

Monday 4 July 2011

#61

A: Your grammar is appalling.

B: No, my gramma is wonderful. She knits.

#60

Look at that poor plumber. His career is in the toilet and he can't sink any lower.