Thursday, 28 July 2011

Tuesday, 19 July 2011


Why are bad play rehearsals like messy pool rooms?

Everyone keeps missing their cues.


I work in a vegetable shop. I have an annual celery.


Death by drowning: water way to go.


What Descartes actually said:

I float, zerefore I am. I sink, zerefore I vill not be for much longer.


The fact that you're grabbing onto that German shows that you're losing this argument. You're just clutching at Strauss.


In order to play in the key of B flat, a musician must have A sharp mind.


I had forgotten that you go running - the sight of you jogged my memory.


De fence is de simplest physical defence.

Sunday, 10 July 2011


A: You don't need bread.

B: Sure you don't. You knead dough. Then you get bread.


I find it horribly racist that some shops do not accept Czechs.


I tried to accustom myself to drinking hard liquor, but I struggled to enter into the spirit of things.


Would anyone like more cake? Speak now, or forever hold your piece.

Monday, 4 July 2011


A: Your grammar is appalling.

B: No, my gramma is wonderful. She knits.


Look at that poor plumber. His career is in the toilet and he can't sink any lower.