Sunday, 31 July 2016


What do you call a journey undertaken in order to realise the severity of the effects of drugs?

A pill-grim-age.

Saturday, 30 July 2016


What do you call an ambiguous speech by a homeless person?

A vague-rant.

Friday, 29 July 2016


The timid police officer hated approaching swindlers head-on; he had a fear of con-front-ation.

Thursday, 28 July 2016


What do you call the pool of people with whom you might spend a romantic evening at a sweetshop?


Wednesday, 27 July 2016


What do you call someone who is capable at cooking seafood?


Tuesday, 26 July 2016

Monday, 25 July 2016


The strength of the athletics team lay in positive relay-tionships.

Sunday, 24 July 2016


What do you call a vulgar introductory piece of music?

A orelewd.

Saturday, 23 July 2016


What kind of nuts grow on the inside of buildings?


Friday, 22 July 2016


What do you call the underground music scene of traffic wardens?

Halt rock.

Thursday, 21 July 2016


What do you call army chefs who bonded during a war?

Broth-ers in arms.

Wednesday, 20 July 2016


A: Why have you filled the tub with Christmas tree decorations?

B: I wanted to have a bauble bath.

Tuesday, 19 July 2016


The well-respected insect was a caterpillar of society.

Monday, 18 July 2016


What do you call all the different ways you can organise a set of curled hairstyles?


Sunday, 17 July 2016

Saturday, 16 July 2016


The paranoid kitchen cupboard was sick of being judged by panels.

Friday, 15 July 2016


The hair product manufacturer and her clients never really managed to gel.

Thursday, 14 July 2016


What do you call a pickle that changes its mind incessantly?


Wednesday, 13 July 2016


Which arcade game is famous for its putrid odour?


Tuesday, 12 July 2016


Where did medieval kings purchase mercenaries?

At knight markets.

Monday, 11 July 2016

Sunday, 10 July 2016


The barista's apprentice could often be found pouring over the contents of the coffee making manual.

Saturday, 9 July 2016


What shooting based game is best suited to the sedentary?

Lazer tag.

Friday, 8 July 2016


What did the novice entrepeneur say to the hardened negotiator?

"It's a pressure doing business with you."

Thursday, 7 July 2016


Fiona, while bi-curious, felt uncomfortable about the large groups of unattached men and women who kept visiting her house; she felt that she was receiving mixed singles.

Wednesday, 6 July 2016


What do you call a male fire-breathing beast disguised as a female?

A drag-on.

Tuesday, 5 July 2016


After a series of mysterious accidents rendered potential customers wary, the company chose to rebrand with the more accurate title of Malaise Airlines.

Monday, 4 July 2016


What do you call a trip around the world spent destroying buildings?

A sabo-tour.

Sunday, 3 July 2016


What do you call contentious needlework in the midst of conflict?


Saturday, 2 July 2016


What kind of potatoes are the best for a formal dinner?

Jacket potatoes - they never lose their ap-peel.

Friday, 1 July 2016


Which American president was known for forging diplomatic connections?

Abraham Linkin'.