Why is it fun to go adventures with kitchen burglars?
You know that they're whisk takers.
Wednesday 31 December 2014
Tuesday 30 December 2014
#1295
Glenys's "original" cake recipes were in fact stolen; she was secretly sponging off the work of others.
Monday 29 December 2014
#1294
Normally, Declan wouldn't have complained about the head of a school, but this time he felt that it was a matter of principal.
Sunday 28 December 2014
Saturday 27 December 2014
#1292
What do you call the list of items on the syllabus of an Indian cookery school?
The curry-culum.
The curry-culum.
Friday 26 December 2014
Thursday 25 December 2014
#1290
A: Whenever I see a Nativity scene, I can't help but wonder what the angels are doing.
B: Just chilling in the crib, I suppose.
B: Just chilling in the crib, I suppose.
Wednesday 24 December 2014
Tuesday 23 December 2014
Monday 22 December 2014
#1287
Working as an assistant to the clumsy milliner, Tess had to be ready to tidy up at the drop of a hat.
Sunday 21 December 2014
Saturday 20 December 2014
#1285
The warden didn't appreciate the prisoners complaining about their food at his annual review; it would only add gruel to the fire.
Friday 19 December 2014
#1284
Why did the wildcat have to continue with basketball even though he wanted to play tennis?
Because a leopard can't change his sports.
Because a leopard can't change his sports.
Thursday 18 December 2014
#1283
What do you call the period of heavy traffic that occurs when a large number of clients need to visit their gynaecologists?
Thrush hour.
Thrush hour.
Wednesday 17 December 2014
Tuesday 16 December 2014
#1281
Why did the parish hire a forger in response to the rival church's festival?
To produce a counterfête.
To produce a counterfête.
Monday 15 December 2014
Sunday 14 December 2014
#1279
A: Do you think we'll be late?
B: Not on my watch!
[A moment of silence.]
B: Because we'll check the time. On my wa-
A: I WILL BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH A CLOCK.
B: Not on my watch!
[A moment of silence.]
B: Because we'll check the time. On my wa-
A: I WILL BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH A CLOCK.
Saturday 13 December 2014
Friday 12 December 2014
#1277
What do you call a story about guns composed of letters exchanged between the characters?
A pistolary novel.
A pistolary novel.
Thursday 11 December 2014
#1276
"My dear Archimedes, you must stop running naked through the streets. Every time you discover something, Eureka lot of mayhem."
Wednesday 10 December 2014
Tuesday 9 December 2014
Monday 8 December 2014
#1273
What did the religious cheesemaker say when things got out of control?
"Jesus, take the wheel."
"Jesus, take the wheel."
Sunday 7 December 2014
Saturday 6 December 2014
Friday 5 December 2014
#1270
The police sergeant gazed glumly at the illegal substances before him, then at his youngest charge, who was standing to attention next to the piles of leaves and beaming proudly. The sergeant sighed.
"I said I wanted potted plants for my office, Jackson. Not pot plants. Potted plants."
"I said I wanted potted plants for my office, Jackson. Not pot plants. Potted plants."
Thursday 4 December 2014
Wednesday 3 December 2014
#1268
Teacher: Use the word detention in a sentence.
Student: When I feel stressed about the possibility that you might give me a bad grade, that's D-tension.
Student: When I feel stressed about the possibility that you might give me a bad grade, that's D-tension.
Tuesday 2 December 2014
Monday 1 December 2014
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