Saturday 31 October 2015

#1600

What do you call the process of slowly savouring a sauce?

Relishing.

Friday 30 October 2015

#1599

What do you call a lot of people going to confession?

A sinflux.

Thursday 29 October 2015

#1598

What kind of stick does an old sugar daddy use to walk?

A cane.

Wednesday 28 October 2015

#1597

What do you call a forceful declaration about white blood cells?

A lymphatic statement.

Tuesday 27 October 2015

#1596

What do you call the state of being worried about one's printing supplies?

Ink-quietude.

Monday 26 October 2015

#1595

Teacher: Define chamber music.

Student: Chamber music is when you play from the heart.

Sunday 25 October 2015

#1594

What do you call people who have lost their eyesight on Italian canals?

Venetian blinds.

Saturday 24 October 2015

#1593

What do you call someone who was born into wealth?

Luck-xurious.

Friday 23 October 2015

#1592

Proponents of a ban on burkas have been accused of slit-shaming.

Thursday 22 October 2015

#1591

Cordelia was always very careful about the ropes on her ship; some would say that she was excessively rig-ourous.

Wednesday 21 October 2015

#1590

Which musical genre is best known for its associated facial hairstyles?

Mo-town.

Tuesday 20 October 2015

#1589

Upon escaping from the pirate's clutches, Linn happily realised that she was off the hook.

Monday 19 October 2015

#1588

The police in Singapore are known for their strict enforcement of littering laws; they will fine someone at the drop of a hat.

Sunday 18 October 2015

#1587

A: My credit card says I've purchased a bunch of livestock! What do I do?

B: For starters, don't have a cow.

Saturday 17 October 2015

#1586

The society of Youtubers against Food Wastage asked people not to subscribe to How To Basic - as this would only egg him on further.

Friday 16 October 2015

#1585

The engineers had designed the train to move especially fast; it was their express purpose.

Thursday 15 October 2015

#1584

How do strippers judge their popularity?

Based on their performance on the poles.

Wednesday 14 October 2015

#1583

The faulty door was driving the carpenters crazy; they were starting to become unhinged.

Tuesday 13 October 2015

#1582

To bond with someone, change trains with them; it's a great way to make a connection.

Monday 12 October 2015

#1581

Which boy band was named after the inability of its members to reverse a car?

One Direction.

Sunday 11 October 2015

#1580

The potato storeroom had been burgled in a mash and grab attack.

Saturday 10 October 2015

#1579

All thieves of baked goods were terrible, reflected the detective, but this one really took the biscuit.

Friday 9 October 2015

#1578

After her fetish for concealing felines in sacks became too suspicious, Brigitte decided to let the cat out of the bag.

Thursday 8 October 2015

#1577

A: How was the rocket launch?

B: Great! We had a blast.

Wednesday 7 October 2015

#1576

A: Oh no! I forgot to bring her coat!

B: No wonder she's been giving you the cold shoulder.

Tuesday 6 October 2015

#1575

After struggling to name the period during which the sun is visible, the astronomers decided to call it a day.

Monday 5 October 2015

#1574

The mystery of the missing clothes hampers was ruining the detective; these unsolved thefts were turning her into a basket case.

Sunday 4 October 2015

#1573

As the organiser of the judges' dance, Kayna felt distinctly uncomfortable that had not been able to afford an external venue; she was unsure how to proceed now that the ball was in her court.

Saturday 3 October 2015

Friday 2 October 2015

#1571

What song of peace is favoured by hairdressers?

Combaya.

Thursday 1 October 2015