Tuesday, 30 April 2013


The Jewish community in Japan has established a Whaling Wall.

Monday, 29 April 2013


A: These small nails are really ugly.

B: Are you saying that they look tacky?

Sunday, 28 April 2013


What word appears at the end of any film about sharks?


Saturday, 27 April 2013


What did the madam say when her girls returned to work after a holiday?

"Long time, no D."

Friday, 26 April 2013


What do you call someone who sells narcotics from a bicycle?

A drug peddler.

Thursday, 25 April 2013


Composers who use too many triplets tend to be arrested and kept inside a compound.

Wednesday, 24 April 2013

Tuesday, 23 April 2013


A: My ballroom dancing teacher says that I'm an absolute failure.

B: Don't worry, A. There are plenty of other dances you can try. An abun-dance, if you will.

[Pause. A crunching sound.]

B: For example, you excel at high kicks.

Monday, 22 April 2013

Sunday, 21 April 2013


The dictator was tired of improper male geese. It was time for some propaganda.

Saturday, 20 April 2013


Marina was disappointed by the lack of interest in her warm baked goods business - she had expected them to sell like hot cakes.

Friday, 19 April 2013


Given his name, the music of Carcassi is surprisingly lively.

Thursday, 18 April 2013

Wednesday, 17 April 2013


Having just arrived at the Manhattan statistics conference, Tessa was in an empirical state of mind.

Tuesday, 16 April 2013


Robin's parents intervened as soon as he started modifying their front fence - they knew that it could be a gateway to more serious construction projects.

Monday, 15 April 2013


I want to write books about a nineteenth century German philosopher, but I'm afraid that it would only appeal to a Nietzsche market.

Sunday, 14 April 2013


A: You only sell tickets at a fixed price? What about discounts for children, students, or seniors?

B: I'm afraid that we make no such concessions.

Saturday, 13 April 2013


"They're running out of plastic tubes intended for transferring a beverage from its container to the mouth of the drinker by use of suction? This is the last straw!"

Friday, 12 April 2013

Thursday, 11 April 2013


"It's elementary, my dear Watson. At seven o'clock that morning, he was searching for his missing deodorant. At eight o'clock, he was found dead on his bathroom floor. Well, that very same bottle of deodorant is on this table. There is no mystery to this murder, Watson. Right before our eyes, we have the missing Lynx."

Wednesday, 10 April 2013


In what shape is hay served to Cattle-ics?

In a Christian Bale.

Tuesday, 9 April 2013


What did Lady Macbeth say while doing her laundry?

"Out, damned spot! out, I say!"

Monday, 8 April 2013


Noah had included a private cabin so that he would have a space to himself when the animals arked up too much.

Sunday, 7 April 2013


After quitting her job as a human rotating clothes rack, a position she had held for the past twenty years, Erin was dismayed to find that her old colleagues were calling her a turncoat.

Saturday, 6 April 2013

Friday, 5 April 2013


Many asthma sufferers find the traditions of the Vatican to be incense-itive.

Thursday, 4 April 2013


What do company executives play to relax after meetings?

Board games.

Wednesday, 3 April 2013


Odette had everything she needed to take the revolution to the capital - the numbers, the spirit, the timing. The only obstacle that stood in her way was the marshland, which had risen above the road after the deluge. She was a rebel without a causeway.

Tuesday, 2 April 2013


A: Why do you always give me a clock for my birthday?

B: Because there's no time like the present.

Monday, 1 April 2013


Which novel by Leo Tolstoy told the tragic tale of a ceramic vessel flute's affair with a Count?

Ana Ocarin-ina.