Saturday 30 June 2012

#382

Why do Peking ducks have long necks?

So that they can peek.

Friday 29 June 2012

#381

Sherlock Holmes surveyed the bed.

"There are no blankets," he observed. "This bed is quite bare."

"No sheet, Sherlock," agreed Doctor Watson.

Thursday 28 June 2012

#380

In a monarchy, reasonable people by themselves pose no threat, and tea is harmless, of course. However, when tea and reason are combined, they can result in treason.

Wednesday 27 June 2012

#379

In the Middle Ages, landowners who tried to leave their property to their daughters were often executed for the crime of heiressy.

Tuesday 26 June 2012

#378

The warrior princess was perturbed by a strong sense of déjà vu, as if she had Xen-at all before.

Monday 25 June 2012

#377

The Angel of Death flew through the land, striking dead the first-born son of every Egyptian family, in the world's first heir-raid.

Sunday 24 June 2012

#376

Alone once more with his computers, consoles, and other gadgets, Martin took a moment to relish the feeling. He loved being left to his own devices.

Saturday 23 June 2012

#375

A: Don't worry, my friend. I've got your back.

B: Aah! How will I stand? Give it back! Give it back!

Friday 22 June 2012

#374

What do you call a bone movement specialist from Egypt?

A Cairopractor.

Thursday 21 June 2012

#373

The courageous invertebrate wanted to prove once and for all that he was not, as his critics often claimed, spineless.

Wednesday 20 June 2012

#372

Jack's demonstration of the correct and healthy way to sit was met with some suspicion. Many among his audience felt that he was just posturing.

Tuesday 19 June 2012

#371

A: What does 'unisex' mean?

B: I think it's what engineering students do.

Monday 18 June 2012

Sunday 17 June 2012

#369

The greatest fear of a librarian is passing the point of no return.

Saturday 16 June 2012

#368

The favourite video game of herbologists is the classical Fennel Fantasy series.

Friday 15 June 2012

#367

As he sat down beside his his favourite cow, the farmer realised that he had an audience. Reaching for the udder, he knew that he was going to milk this for all it was worth.

Thursday 14 June 2012

#366

Tired of suffering under the farmer's tyrannical rule, the chickens rose up in a coop d'état.

Wednesday 13 June 2012

#365

The notes and coins repeatedly tried to unite, but, time and again, they were thwarted by denominational differences.

Tuesday 12 June 2012

#364

I propose an award to acknowledge the person who most successfully managed to fake something at some point in the process of staging a musical. It would be called the Fast Tony.

Monday 11 June 2012

#363

Samson's show was a huge success. He always brought the house down.

Sunday 10 June 2012

#362

A: I can see people wandering aimlessly around the building where grain is ground to make flour. What are they doing?

B: I expect they're milling.

Saturday 9 June 2012

#361

Why did has he joined a group of desert-dwelling nomads? There are so many other things that he could Bedouin.

Friday 8 June 2012

#360

For centuries, many theologians have believed that gays are destined for hell. Here lies the origin of the term "flaming homosexuals".

Thursday 7 June 2012

#359

A: How's your holiday in Cuba going?

B: I'm Havana great time.

Wednesday 6 June 2012

#358

As the opera singers' muscles were hyperextended in the torture racks, Gaspar leant back and enjoyed the melodious strains.

Tuesday 5 June 2012

#357

Many people feel that decisions made by their national reserve bank are interesting but overrated.

Monday 4 June 2012

#356

Mike called his gun Vodka, because he used it to do shots.

Sunday 3 June 2012

#355

I don't want my tomb to be particularly fancy. I'll be happy with something nondes-crypt.

Saturday 2 June 2012

#354

Pierre felt that his critics' claims about his cosmetics were without foundation.

Friday 1 June 2012

#353

Cow A: I think the farmer's coming to choose one of us for leather!

Cow B: Quick, hide!