#1996

What do fly halves drink before a game?

A kicking tea.

#1995

A: Why was there no post yesterday?

B: The writer resisted an attack by a taxidermist.

A: Okay, that has nothing to do with the missing post. This time you're really not making any-

B: He couldn't be stuffed!

#1994

Employer: So you want to be a comic book character?

Auditionee: Yes I do!

Employer: Well then, you're going to have to strip!

Audtionee: Oh no. My dreams and my dignity.

#1993

Judy always assumed that whatever people said to her was related to the shoreline; she had a tendency to take things littorally.

#1992

Celeste's audience was stunned by the precision of her pencil; truly, her sharpening skills were on point.

#1991

What do you call a warning placed on fish eggs?

A caviart.

#1990

Lorenzo's excessive sweat kept him humble; he was known for his humidity.

#1989

What do you call a specially granted right to access a bathroom?

A privy-lege.

#1988

What do you call an unenjoyable food tasting experience?

A disgustation.

#1987

What do you call street art that depicts mathematical functions?

Graph-iti.

#1986

What do you call a group of American soldiers shipwrecked on an island?

US maroons.

#1985

The tailor never held a grudge; he always felt that it was better to build a britch and get over it.

#1984

People from countries with fiery cuisine often fall sick when travelling abroad, due to the sudden lack of spice in their diet. This is known as blandular fever.

#1983

What do you call the feeling when insects build you up but then are disappointing?

An ant-iclimax.

#1982

The new and improved mop wiped the floor with its competitors.

#1981

Why do churches have candles?

For the lit-urgy.

#1980

A: Why was there no post yesterday?

B: The writer was being initiated into a group of women who live together and embroider unusual patterns.

A: What are you-

B: He joined a sew-rarity.

#1979

What do you call someone who makes people bankrupt for a living?

A broker.

#1978

What do you call it when you remove the part of someone's brain that recognises plants?

A lobotany.

#1977

What kind of turtle is the most easily frightened?

A terror-pin.

#1976

What do you call the process of carving words into a tombstone?

Engraving.

#1975

What do you call a writer who seeks to impose power?

Author-itarian.

#1974

What do you call a band that hits its grooves?

Funk-tional.

#1973

After the Japanese attacks, concerns of sensitivity forced the US government to cancel its plan to rename Pearl Harbour as Bombay.

#1972

Which politicians primarily focus on policies surrounding jam?

Members of the Conserve-ative party.

#1971

What did the altar server say to the priest after diluting the communion wine?

"Forgive me father, for I have thinned."

#1970

"So yes, I can organise a private locomotive, just for you, whenever you need it."

Ellan sighed. She was beginning to realise that the readers of her local paper, while apparently well-connected in the public transport industry, had seriously misunderstood what she meant by "seeking a personal trainer".

#1969

What do you call people who have degrees from a mail delivery service?

Post graduates.

#1968

The workers at the unlicensed waxing clinic lived in constant fear of the fuzz.

#1967

The presidential candidate, criticised for her sternness, attempted to soften her gaze using a tender-eyes-er.

#1966

What do you call a practical joke involving a baby stroller?

A pramk.

#1965

Why don't dogs vote?

They're not interested in paw-litics.

#1964

A: Why was there no post yesterday?

B: The writer was being initiated into a group of men who live together and play guitar.

A: What are you-

B: He joined a freternity.

#1963

Why does Gwen Stefani refuse to reciprocate subscriptions on social media?

She ain't no follow-back girl.

#1962

What chicken dish is permitted by law to be used as currency?

Legal tenders.

#1961

What do you call people who used to know a lot about how to be lively?

Ex-perts.

#1960

What do you call a device concealed among the gears of a machine?

In-cog-nito.

#1959

What do you call a set meal offered by a roving vendor?

À la cart.

#1958

During what phase of the lunar cycle do apes attempt to remove their hair?

The waxing gibbons.

#1957

The chefs wanted to be known for making the best broths - all their lives, they battled for soup-remacy.

#1956

What kind of water sport is most suitable for mourning a death?

Wake-boarding.

#1955

What do you call it when it takes a long time to acquire relishes and liquid condiments at a barbecue?

A sauce-age.

#1954

What's the hardest thing for a shy turtle to do?

Coming out of its shell.

#1953

Why was Jesus's room so untidy?

He was the Mess-iah.

#1952

At the sight of the sweets, the dog couldn't stop its tongue from lollying out of its mouth.

#1951

After only receiving a loose shirt for all her hard work, Heather felt that she'd been given a blousy deal.

#1950

After venturing onto the rough water, Melanie was stunned by the rapidity of the current.

#1949

What is the shortest amount of time that a person can spend inside a tavern?

An inn-stant.

#1948

What do you call a model who is tired of turning around for cameras?

Twirled-weary.

#1947

Zeus had never intended the devastating forest fires; he thought that he was just lightning the mood.