#809

What is the term for simplified depiction of African culture by a medieval travelling entertainer?

Minstrelry.

#808

A: Bamboo becomes more endangered every year.

B: Oh no! This will result in utter panda-moan-ium!

#807

A: I've had enough of you and your word games.

B: Don't worry, I'm done with those. I just want to hang, man.

#806

What is the term for a face that has been wrecked by the rough tongue of a predator?

Dere-licked.

#805

A: You haven't even begun to prepare for your speech on cruelty to race horses!

B: Don't worry, I can whip something together in no time.

#804

Which Chinese philosopher is famous for his teachings on blending herbal tea?

Infucius.

#803

Why did the burglar wear a cloak?

To make a speedy es-cape.

#802

A: I've actually swallowed poison, okay? This is serious! So can you stop making jokes about it?

B: I'm sorry, I was only speaking ingest.

#801

A: Watch out for that font. It makes kerning hell.

B: Don't worry - I know the type.

#800

A: Are you coming to the funeral?

B: I can't come, I have to go to a stag night.

A: Who's the groom?

B: No one's getting married. I'm going hunting.

A: You sicken me.

B: Do you know what a stag does if you shoot its leg?

A: I don't want-

B: It staggers.

#799

Where do large African herbivorous mammals study neuroscience degrees?

At a hippocampus.

#798

What did the herd say to the pig who arrived last and missed out on food?

"Trough luck."

#797

"All these ropes are slack! Didn't you learn how to tie knots at maritime school?"

The apprentice hung his head.

"They never taut me, sir."

#796

A: Come on and stick your feet in the water.

B: I do not intend to dabble in such matters.

#795

A: Did you see what just happened in the street? A pregnant woman got hit by a car!

B: Now that's what I call a baby bump.

#794

What sound does an old clock make?

Antique-antock.

#793

The sound effect created by scrubbing skin is called ex-foley-ation.

#792

Poleana had handled large herds before, but the enormous number in front of her was more than she could muster.

#791

Male horses are rarely fit to lead a council, but female horses make excellent mayors.

#790

Jana never missed an opportunity for hunting; she was always game.

#789

The revolutionary never took a break from her mission; she was a rebel without a pause.

#788

The architect's proposed design for outdoor seating failed to meet the council's benchmark.

#787

A: So, you broke the shelf?

B: Al-ledge-edly.

#786

What kind of dance involves substituting translated dialogue for the original audio in foreign films?

Dubstep.

#785

What did the bachelor frog tell his guests upon arrival at his home?

"Welcome to my pad."

#784

Mauro tried to take a clear photograph of the wheat, but he could only get grainy images.

#783

Who was the most esteemed French knight of all?

Sir Render.

#782

Nina suggested travelling by plane, but the idea didn't fly with the board.

#781

Years of driving through the mountains had given Letizia tunnel vision.

#780

The male underwear model found it difficult to talk about his career in brief.

#779

A: It's chaotic in women's wear! I might stay here at the registers for a while.

B: That's right, just wait until it blouse over.

#778

What do you call a tax that guitarists pay for each musical idea?

A ta-riff.

#777

A: You rank people according to how they cry?

B: Yes, indeed. You're pretty good, you're in the second highest tear.

#776

Eugenia was very sensitive about the dirt under her nails. Any mention of it made her extremely an-gry.

#775

A: So, it looks like she's been working as a baby sitter?

B: Au-pair-ently.

#774

A: Be a dear and turn on the kettle.

B: Deer are typically incapable of operating household appliances.

#773

What do you call the allowance given to the elderly for stationery expenses?

Pen-sion.

#772

A: They said that they would prefer the artwork on the wall at the top of the hill rather than the bottom, and they've paid us more than enough to paint it up there. We owe it to them.

B: I knew you would take the mural high ground.

#771

As the rate of scientific discoveries increases, new physical models of the universe are a paradigm a dozen.

#770

Before working at the Large Hadron Collider, applicants must undergo a long process of disCERNment.

#769

A: I'm an avid collector of-

B: So am I!

A: Of what?

B: You just said it. Aphids.

#768

What do you call a secret, exclusive group of fruit growers?

An apricoterie.

#767

What did Kevin Rudd say when he realised that his fly was undone?

"I've got to zip."

#766

A: I had a dream in which I was on a large revolving merry-go-round, with painful unresolved memories from my past being played out in the other seats. I was terrified. What do you think it means?

B: Don't go near airports.

A: Why?

B: You're clearly afraid of baggage carousels.

#765

Nata didn't think that she would enjoy fishing, but soon, she was hooked.

#764

The truck driver stared flabbergasted at the gas station attendant, who was tenderly caressing his vehicle.

"Fill, not feel! I said, fill it up!"

#763

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

The horse replies, "It's hard to be happy when you're wearing a sad-dle."

The alcoholic observing this does some serious thinking and quits drinking that very night.

#762

What tree makes sick people more unwell?

A sick-a-more.

#761

A group of musicians who play their instruments with the bases of their hands instead of their fingers is known as a wristband.

#760

What sounds like striking a mallet and grabs people's attention when worn on the head?

A striking mullet.