#1924

What do botany students use for writing tasks?

Loose leaf.

#1923

What do you call a horrible disaster in which a hunter removes a feline's backside?

A cat-ass-trophy.

#1922

Why did the pig want to leave its enclosure?

It felt sty-fled.

#1921

What kind of chocolates can be used to taunt people at shopping centres?

Mall-teasers.

#1920

What did Vivaldi call the secret combination of herbs and spices that constituted his original recipe chicken meal?

Four Seasonings.

#1919

What swamp-dwelling plants can be used to clean toilets?

Bog brush.

#1918

Which film director is referred to by all teachers of film studies when marking assessments?

Stanley Rubric.

#1917

What kind of ghosts haunt their celebrity crushes?

Fan-toms.

#1916

Where is the best place to cremate plants?

In a fern-ace.

#1915

When you're on death row, no noose is good noose.

#1914

"President Trump, in hindsight, do you have any regrets about building your wall on the Mexican border?"

"No regrets. Not even Juan."

#1913

Which Soviet politician was famous for training horses in snow sports?

Trot-ski.

#1912

"Your Majesty, how do you feel about the theft of your royal seat?"

"I'm not sure how I feel. I guess I'm just a bit throne."

#1911

What do you call a cat on drugs?

High-purr-active.

#1910

What do you call it when farm animals send their meals back to the kitchen?

Giving feedback.

#1909

A: Why was there no post yesterday?

B: The writer realised that he had two family commitments at once.

A: It was Father's Day?

B: And it was also a Son-Day.

#1908

What popular 1960s dance song is about gymnastics injuries?

Twist and Shout

#1907

After 40 years as a butcher, Beth had grown accustomed to the daily rind.

#1906

What film tells the story of a savant who memorises his city's sewage system?

Drain Man

#1905

Why don't students fall for each other when they live at the same school?

Because love knows no boarders.

#1904

When do electricians feel like rock stars?

When they work with power cords.

#1903

Why couldn't the children give away their old blocks?

It was impossible to Lego.

#1902

Billy the hangman was really quite shy in his private life, but on execution days, the public only saw his flamboyant halter ego.

#1901

What sauce can never be served hot?

A coulis.

#1900

What do you call an digital update that informs you when a fight between friends is over?

A no-tiff-ication.

#1899

A: Why was there no post yesterday?

B: The special effects department was on strike.

A: We don't have a special-

B: There were delays in post production.

#1898

What do you call a union protesting about changes to workers' rights that they think might happen in the future?

A preemptive strike.

#1897

Would do you call a person's dreams of becoming a smoker?

Ash-pirations.

#1896

What do you call mucking around by the edge of a window?

Being sill-y.

#1895

A: Why was there no post yesterday?

B: The writer took a day off to consider monetising this blog, in order to make us appreciate it more.

A: Why would that-

B: Adsense makes the heart grow fonder.

#1894

What television show details the adventures of a group of fine arts and memorabilia specialists driven to a psychotic frenzy?

Frantics Roadshow.

#1893

What do you call a massive number of antelopes?

A gazelle-ion.

#1892

What did the announcer say when the dried herbs were ready to be judged?

"It's crunch thyme."

#1891

What do you call an independent, self-managed clerk who organises transactions between fishermen and the public?

A shoal trader.

#1890

What kind of fish gives the best hugs?

A cuddle-fish.

#1889

If the ferryman won't carry you across the river Styx, how can you get to Hades?

In a hell-icopter.

#1888

What do you call an independent, self-managed clerk who manages deals with the devil?

A soul trader.

#1887

What do you call artificial gas processing micro-sacs designed for human lungs?

Valve-oli.

#1886

What do you call a stash of moonshine?

An alco-haul.

#1885

What did the wrestler say after reversing a hold?

"I guess the choke's on you."

#1884

Which British prime minister fixed all the roofs at trading events in public squares?

Market Thatcher.

#1883

Which John Denver song was told from the perspective of a government statistician?

"You fill up my census..."

#1882

How do sour cherries in open pastry taste?

Tart.

#1881

To the socially conscious narrator, the lack of any great surge in action to lower carbon emissions seemed distinctly anti-climatic.

#1880

What do you call it when derision has gotten out of hand?

Running a-mock.

#1879

What feminine hygiene product is made out of chocolate biscuit by-products?

Tim-Tampons.

#1878

What do you call the destruction of a cabbage-based salad?

Slaw-ter.

#1877

Which companion of Robin Hood was in charge of plastic surgery for the Merry Men?

Friar Nip-and-Tuck.

#1876

What was the favourite garment of the Greek god of healing?

A polo.

#1875

Why did the plumber give the greengrocer an enormous quote?

There were leeks all over his shop.