#1996

What do fly halves drink before a game?

A kicking tea.

#1995

A: Why was there no post yesterday?

B: The writer resisted an attack by a taxidermist.

A: Okay, that has nothing to do with the missing post. This time you're really not making any-

B: He couldn't be stuffed!

#1994

Employer: So you want to be a comic book character?

Auditionee: Yes I do!

Employer: Well then, you're going to have to strip!

Audtionee: Oh no. My dreams and my dignity.

#1993

Judy always assumed that whatever people said to her was related to the shoreline; she had a tendency to take things littorally.

#1992

Celeste's audience was stunned by the precision of her pencil; truly, her sharpening skills were on point.

#1991

What do you call a warning placed on fish eggs?

A caviart.

#1990

Lorenzo's excessive sweat kept him humble; he was known for his humidity.

#1989

What do you call a specially granted right to access a bathroom?

A privy-lege.

#1988

What do you call an unenjoyable food tasting experience?

A disgustation.

#1987

What do you call street art that depicts mathematical functions?

Graph-iti.

#1986

What do you call a group of American soldiers shipwrecked on an island?

US maroons.

#1985

The tailor never held a grudge; he always felt that it was better to build a britch and get over it.

#1984

People from countries with fiery cuisine often fall sick when travelling abroad, due to the sudden lack of spice in their diet. This is known as blandular fever.

#1983

What do you call the feeling when insects build you up but then are disappointing?

An ant-iclimax.

#1982

The new and improved mop wiped the floor with its competitors.

#1981

Why do churches have candles?

For the lit-urgy.

#1980

A: Why was there no post yesterday?

B: The writer was being initiated into a group of women who live together and embroider unusual patterns.

A: What are you-

B: He joined a sew-rarity.

#1979

What do you call someone who makes people bankrupt for a living?

A broker.

#1978

What do you call it when you remove the part of someone's brain that recognises plants?

A lobotany.

#1977

What kind of turtle is the most easily frightened?

A terror-pin.

#1976

What do you call the process of carving words into a tombstone?

Engraving.

#1975

What do you call a writer who seeks to impose power?

Author-itarian.

#1974

What do you call a band that hits its grooves?

Funk-tional.

#1973

After the Japanese attacks, concerns of sensitivity forced the US government to cancel its plan to rename Pearl Harbour as Bombay.

#1972

Which politicians primarily focus on policies surrounding jam?

Members of the Conserve-ative party.

#1971

What did the altar server say to the priest after diluting the communion wine?

"Forgive me father, for I have thinned."

#1970

"So yes, I can organise a private locomotive, just for you, whenever you need it."

Ellan sighed. She was beginning to realise that the readers of her local paper, while apparently well-connected in the public transport industry, had seriously misunderstood what she meant by "seeking a personal trainer".

#1969

What do you call people who have degrees from a mail delivery service?

Post graduates.

#1968

The workers at the unlicensed waxing clinic lived in constant fear of the fuzz.

#1967

The presidential candidate, criticised for her sternness, attempted to soften her gaze using a tender-eyes-er.