#1751

What do you call ornamental wire decorations on a young mare?

Filly-gree.

#1750

What kind of fish perform deceptive undercover operations for the fish police?

Sting rays.

#1749

The mousetrap manager was quick to an opinion; he couldn't resist making snap judgements.

#1748

Why do students learn best when near researches working on alternatives to regular post?

Because they're in the zone of Proxy-Mail Development.

#1747

What do you call a french fries, cheese, and gravy spread upon crackers?

Poutine on the Ritz.

#1746

A: Why wasn't there a post yesterday?

B: The writer took a break to research the effects of stretching on female reproductive systems.

A: Please don't sa-

B: He was on long cervix leave.

#1745

The new progressive prison warden criticised the currently used chains for being excessively fetteronormative.

#1744

How did Annalene the seabird catcher encourage cooperation among her students?

She used a tern-taking activity.

#1743

What do you call it when a king interrupts an accolade for a sandwich?

A mid-knight snack.

#1742

Which US Democrat slogan called for greater engagement with the capital of Switzerland?

"Feel the Bern."

#1741

Aaron the ice cream vendor always piled heaps onto his deluxe specials - he never missed mass on a sundae.

#1740

As the sumo wrestler's horse reached the last turn, it dug deep - it knew that there was a lot riding on this.

#1739

Why did the atheist quadratic equation refuse to acknowledge the cubic equation?

It didn't believe in a higher power.

#1738

Annelisa was relieved by the chance to talk to someone about her bra problems - it was good to get it off her chest.

#1737

Why don't fields like being watered?

It's a very irrigating process.

#1736

A: Did you like the new ceiling fan?

B: Yes! It thoroughly blew me away.

#1735

What do you call someone who's never seen a tree?

Twignorant.

#1734

A: It says here that the ice cream vendor has decided to only sell vanilla in an attempt to maximise profits.

B: Well, he's not doing himself any flavours.

#1733

What do you call a Sith Lord try to walk through a deep lake?

Darth Wader.

#1732

After the cattle started returning their uneaten hay to the farmer by means of protest, he began to worry about the negative feedback.

#1731

Which country in the British Isles is the best at swimming and singing?

Wales.

#1730

Which Biblical story describes a boy who is beaten with an iron bar after wasting his father's fortune?

The prod-igal son.

#1729

What do you call a feeling of disgruntlement at having to mail something twice?

Resentment.

#1728

What do you call a fight in a rugby match?

A ruckus.

#1727

In what kind of water are objects most buoyant?

Spring water.

#1726

What do you call the everyday speech in A Journey To The Center Of The Earth?

The Verne-acular.

#1725

What do you call a process by which amphetamines can be made?

A meth-od.

#1724

What is an acrobat's favourite shape?

A trapezium.

#1723

Which Disney film tells the story of Rapunzel's struggle with geometry?

Rectangled.

#1722

A: Why was there no post yesterday?

B: Beware the Ides of March!

A: That's the 15th.

B: Beware the Lieds of March!

A: That's not a thing.

B: Please stop the Chides of March!