#1447

What do you call someone printing in a hurry?

Hard pressed.

#1446

What is the name for the mapping of underground surfaces?

Bottom-ology.

#1445

What kind of organisation predicts future couples?

A shipping company.

#1444

What is the name for the study of the mentality behind Gangnam Style?

Psy-chology.

#1443

What is the most specific kind of sports bra?

A push-up bra.

#1442

What is the name of the process by which a demon prepares a human for entry?

Prepossession.

#1441

What kind of dog enjoys touring the world?

A jet setter.

#1440

What happens to old Egyptians as the float down the river towards the ocean?

They become sea-Nile.

#1439

How can you tell that an electron is feeling energetic?

It comes out of its shell.

#1438

What do you call a group of gangsters who can be identified by their necklaces?

A chain gang.

#1437

What do you call a vampire who raises the dead in order to seduce them?

A neck-romancer.

#1436

What did the student say while submitting an essay?

"Mark my words."

#1435

A: Lately, every time my children speak, they say a group of words without any verbs!

B: Don't worry. I'm sure it's just a phrase.

#1434

How did the wall celebrate its birthday?

By getting plastered.

#1433

"This isn't a real celebration of supermarket cashier's desks! This is just a counter-fête!"

#1432

What kind of magical creature is known for not caring about justice?

An unfairy.

#1431

The candlemaker sighed; these customers were beginning to get on his wick.

#1430

Teacher: Use the word fervent in a sentence.

Student: An opening to gather a cat's hair is called a fur-vent.

#1429

Which piece of smartphone software measures the power usage of the device?

WattsApp.

#1428

A: Why do you always disagree with my fruit choices?

B: I enjoy playing the devil's avocado.

#1427

The stationery innovator was always trying to push the envelope.

#1426

What do you call the pain caused by an excessively heavy backpack?

Bagony.

#1425

What did the enthusiastic business owner say about her preference for solitude?

"I enjoy my own company."

#1424

What do you call a brief video about trimming nails?

A clip.

#1423

What do herb growers do in a ballroom?

Chive.

#1422

What happened when the satyromaniac cowboy fell sick?

He was bedridden.

#1421

A: What do you mean, it used to be a flying vehicle?

B: I'm sorry, I can't ex-plane.

#1420

What was used to construct a sling when the French sculptor fractured her arm?

Plaster of Paris.

#1419

How did the city dweller apologise for his grumpiness in the country side?

"Sorry to be such a towner."

#1418

The former beekeeper recalled to this day the day that her hive abandoned her; she could still feel the sting of rejection.

#1417

What did the undertaker say about the necrophiliacs?

"They want the D-ceased."