#1174

Teacher: Use the word profile in a sentence.

Student: Someone who is in favour of organising paperwork can be described as profile.

#1173

What can be found at the start of a book about golf?

A foreword.

#1172

What does a fast food angel use to fly?

Onion wings.

#1171

Ironically, the rotational therapist was unable to convince the public of his merit without the help of a spin doctor.

#1170

The clumsy label maker had a habit of name dropping.

#1169

Janet appreciated the new pulley system; it had really taken a load off her shoulders.

#1168

The butcher was proud of his produce, and always packaged it in elegant wooden boxes; some were suspicious when they saw him casing a joint.

#1167

What do you call the process of filling an area with distinguished gentlemen?

Gent-rification.

#1166

Seamstresses know a lot about threading; mainly because they know a lot about screwing.

#1165

What did the tennis player do at her legal trial?

Hold court.

#1164

After calls to make the building accessible to wheelchairs fell on deaf ears, advocates ramped up their efforts.

#1163

Corinne knew that wearing sandals would lead to wearing flip-flops; it was a slippery slope.

#1162

"Leopard, not leper! I said I wanted a leopard skin dress!"

#1161

Which English city was named after its horseback undertakers?

Canterbury.

#1160

When war arrived, Quasimodo proved to be quite bell-igerent.

#1159

What do you call the due date for an assassination?

A deadline.

#1158

Despite positive responses from critics, 30 Rock was something of a ratings Fey-lure.

#1157

Her phobia of doors persisted; she just couldn't handle them.

#1156

I hate flashers. They think that they have the right to go around exposing themselves willy-nilly.

#1155

Being upgraded from the last car of the train was a welcome ca-boost.

#1154

What's the difference between a pilot and a geometer?

A pilot flies planes; a geometer thinks planes are fly.

#1153

The marine carnivore was ever diligent; it could never be accused of sharking its duty.

#1152

What do you call a sniper on cocaine?

A crack shot.

#1151

What do you call a bathroom break scheduled after the consumption of Asian food?

A Thai gap.

#1150

What is the best time to withdraw money?

8am.

#1149

He had led an easy life in the flatlands, and had grown accustomed to expecting everything handed to him on a plateau.

#1148

What sound did the crashing plane make as it bounced?

Boeing

#1147

People who grow up in a gap between mountains live in constant need of valley-dation.

#1146

What do you call an equine vet who manipulates the skeleton and muscles of their patients?

A horse-teopath.

#1145

What do you call a metropolis full of daring people?

An auda-city.

#1144

The young sheep was a skillful chess player; at three months, it had already developed several opening lambits.