#1082

After a long day on colander duty, Xiaoping felt drained.

#1081

Kingsley's dedication to his gym workouts was abmirable.

#1080

I would make a joke about wild pork, but I wouldn't want to boar you.

#1079

What piece of music is played when a social network closes down?

The Last Post.

#1078

A: Did you get a good look at the mountain?

B: I only caught a quick peak.

#1077

The annoyed Christian made a gesture that is universally recognised as the sign of the cross.

#1076

By what process are papers judged by myopic academics?

Peer review.

#1075

Given that he was working in the mail room, it was hardly surprising that Brian had become the company's poster boy.

#1074

What kind of ant doesn't obey easily?

A defy-ant.

#1073

What do you call slow-shutter footage of a watchmaker running around a track?

Time laps.

#1072

Jamie tried to design a better bucket than his rival's creation, but all his efforts pailed in comparison.

#1071

The sassy tree was always throwing shade.

#1070

What do you call a male escort who is paid to laugh?

A giggle-o.

#1069

Tristan's party trick depended on the presence of fizz in the soda - now that it had sat out for so long, all his attempts fell flat.

#1068

The new budget was thought to be unreasonable by all accounts.

#1067

What did Darth Vader say to the victims of his newest weapon?

"I find your lack of face disturbing."

#1066

His courage boosted by the drink, he proceeded to make a spirited effort.

#1065

Sinead's endurance training didn't help her in the sprints, but she knew that it would be worth it in the long run.

#1064

Upon making his first sword, the apprentice blacksmith paused to sabre the moment.

#1063

Unable to fill the enclosure with their individual supplies of water, the friends decided to pool their resources.

#1062

Learning about cassic acid is a most cathartic experience.

#1061

For the journalist, the task of writing a full-length story was a novel challenge.

#1060

The LEGO designer was struggling. She had hit a creative block.

#1059

Where do fishermen stand to make a speech?

On a dace.

#1058

What did Doge say upon encountering a labyrinth?

"Amaze."

#1057

A: Did the French people say bye?

B: No, they left without further adieu.

#1056

Pascal was overjoyed to be promoted to Corporal; he was no longer at risk of Legionnaire's disease.

#1055

What do you call it when a mollusc takes a picture of itself?

A shellfie.

#1054

What do you call a courageous parrot that is capable of bonding with many others?

Polly-valiant.

#1053

What is the ideal clothing to be worn while consuming hot beverages?

A tea-shirt.

#1052

The furniture designers were proud of their progress. They had come sofa.