#1021

Which North American natural feature is said to cure erectile dysfunction?

Viagra Falls.

#1020

The heating repair technician had nowhere to vent her frustration.

#1019

The canine church had a meeting to discuss matters of dogma.

#1018

Which dance is traditionally performed on hot coals?

The char-char.

#1017

Why did the impulsive person see a dermatologist?

To cure her of her rash decisions.

#1016

At first, the turtle had been shy and reluctant, but over the last week it had really come out of its shell.

#1015

If these walls could speak, they would have many storeys to tell.

#1014

Since becoming an acrobat, the actor had grown more and more uncomfortable with the regular exhortation to break a leg.

#1013

The hospital was painted with runes to ward off evil spirits.

#1012

The displaced soccer club's request to host a game was dismissed on the basis that they had no grounds for their claim.

#1011

A: I was just typing when I suddenly lost all sensation in my fingers. Do you know what's happening?

B: Yes, that would be the Numb Lock.

#1010

What did Admiral Ackbar cry when he saw the canvas sheet?

"It's a tarp!"

#1009

Angelo longed for the first violin part; he was tired of playing second fiddle.

#1008

A: I think I have hives, whom should I call?

B: Depending on the variety, a doctor or a beekeeper.

#1007

A: I just know that something is afoot.

B: The thing at the base of your leg with five toes. That's a foot. You know this.

#1006

A: Do you like electronic dance mats?

B: I'm just not sure of where I stand on them.

#1005

What kind of animal designs small plastic emblems that can be pinned onto clothing?

Badgers.

#1004

The interior designer gave up suites for Lent.

#1003

How do you see what's happening in an anti-Russia riot?

Ukraine your neck.

#1002

A: You really upset me! Didn't you see me crying?

B: Upset? I thought you were having a wail of a time.

#1001

The demons joined forces in an unprecedented sin-ergy.

#1000

Sherlock rounded the corner and stumbled to a halt. There was nobody in sight. His eyes pierced the shadows and swept every stone as his flashlight traced the length of the alley, only to find a silent dead end, and the crushingly heavy realisation of another failed pursuit. As he heaved in gulps of air, he noticed a small piece of paper lying on a cobble. Trembling with familiar dread, he bent down and held it up to the meagre beam of light dribbling out of a weary old street lamp. PERMISSION TO ATTEND, it read, in neatly printed black letters, infuriatingly identical to the other three notes.

Sherlock crumpled the paper with an angry fist. Once again, the suspect had given him the slip.

#999

Making durable formal wear was not the tailor's strong suit.

#998

Which soldiers are responsible for opening abscesses?

Lance Corporals.

#997

"I don't care where the deer start running, as long as you understand that the buck stops here."

#996

Pat couldn't fit into the Lycra jumpsuit, not by any stretch of the imagination or fabric.

#995

"I'm not saying that that insect is in my personal space. I'm just saying that it's beginning to enc-roach."

#994

Having been stripped of its fur, the enormous beast, once magnificent, was now threadbear.

#993

Which Charles Dickens novel tells the story of a slanting building?

Oblique House.

#992

Anastasia was used to ordered sets of items; now, in their absence, she was listless.

#991

Learning about photons is a most illuminating experience.