#990

The DJ gazed at his old nemesis, his face sliding into a bitter smile. He paused to consider how long he had waited for this moment, and the answer made him decide that he should savour it. He slowly inhaled, absorbing the aroma of defeat, and began to speak.

"My, my, my. How the tables have turned."

#989

What do you call a movable harbour?

Portable.

#988

"I have rabbits. Wanna see?"

Daniel glowered at the man who had uttered these words, and glumly wondered why people were so reluctant when he used the same line about his pets. Some day, he thought, someone would take an interest in his crabs.

#987

A: Do you like my felt hat?

B: Yes, it's fedorable.

#986

A: You should go. It's high time that you got some culture in you.

B: Couldn't I just eat some yoghurt?

#985

A: I don't understand why people are so biased against amputees.

B: Neither do I. I'm stumped.

#984

What happened when Neil Patrick Harris drank a tonne of milk?

It was legen-dairy.

#983

"Do you go by any other names, Agent H20?"

"They call me Bond. Covalent Bond."

#982

A: They only do one yoga class at the same time every week.

B: Really? I would have expected a yoga class to be more flexible.

#981

The water surrounding every castle in the area had become a distinctive moatif.

#980

A: I think that bicycles should have as many lanes as cars.

B: Stop peddling such nonsense.

#979

A: Did it shrink in the wash?

B: No, it shrank while being ironed - during the de-creasing process.

#978

Why did the painter struggle with pronunciation?

He had a cleft palette.

#977

"You seem to be unaware of some of the basics of Marxism. Have you been skipping classes?"

#976

The vendetta between the manufacturers of running shoes was laced with intrigue.

#975

"Potted, not pot. I said you could have a potted plant on your desk."

Senior Constable Mathieson was beginning to have concerns about the calibre of some of the new recruits.

#974

The disdainful glutton scoffed at the very notion, and also the pies.

#973

Which rodents belonged to the Nazi party's inner circle?

Gerbils.

#972

"But t'is is t'e only way I know to speak."

George the Third reflected that employing this man as a herald had not been the best marketing choice.

#971

Where do closeted chiropractors go hiking?

Brokeback Mountain.

#970

Confusing Chewbacca with Jar Jar Binks is a wookiee error.

#969

The marsupials outsmarted the humans with a cunning roos.

#968

At the top of the food chain, of course, sits the macaroni necklace.

#967

The cobbler was impressed by the acrobat's tremendous feat.

#966

In chess, choosing to castle early is a rookie mistake.

#965

A: Idaho -

B: Don't say that - I would never consider you a whore.

#964

All eagles can catch prey, but Toby was particularly talonted.

#963

A: Honesty, loyalty, generosity - you just can' buy them.

B: Yeah, you can't get value for money.