#900

What does the small wolf say?

I don't know. Some kind of jack-call.

#899

What did the choir director who was also a pirate say?

"Shiver me timbres!"

#898

The majority of the time taken to write a blog is spent in post production.

#897

How Star Trek could have used font choices to save space:

"To go where no man has gone before."

#896

People with synesthesia tend to associate Istanbul accents with a greenish-blue colour called turk-voice.

#895

What process do vicars undergo to increase their lifespans?

Pastor-isation.

#894

Yesterday there was a small change in my six-pack muscles. Did you notice my ab-cents?

#893

What do you call someone who wanders without any specific direction?

A vague-abond.

#892

Training dogs can be a very heeling experience.

#891

"These young streams are too distracted by technology," lamented the old Nile. "They don't even reed any more."

#890

The Olympic Athletes' Dinner was an embarrassing occasion; the tables were segregated by race.

#889

Since the global recession, the men's fashion industry has been in de-Klein.

#888

What do you call a book that is held together by magic?

Spellbound.

#887

Going several days without listening to Romantic-era music can leave some people Liszt-less.

#886

What do you call a thief who can't stop applauding?

A claptomaniac.

#885

What do you call an involuntary spasm caused by Asperger's syndrome?

An autis-tic.

#884

The fisherman was surprised to find that, after hauling in his biggest catch ever, his net worth had decreased.

#883

The chef's assistant was highly skilled at indicating the location of ingredients; he was an ideal kitchen pointer.

#882

What is the name of the film genre that consists of tragic romances in futuristic settings?

Sigh-fi.

#881

The dentist's apprentice had to sign her contract during a procedure; it was an in-denture indenture.

#880

How is food cooked in soap operas?

Using gasp-powered stoves.

#879

Since beginning to design costumes for musical theatre productions, the leather workers had significantly improved their belts.

#878

Why did the band go to the cliffs for training?

They had heard that they would be able to find a rock formation there.

#877

He tried to sell me a bunch of canvases that had been randomly splashed with paint, but I wasn't going to pay so much for a pile of old Pollocks.

#876

What do you call a pirate who steals a square-rigged ship?

A brigand.

#875

A: Did you find out who burst the balloons?

B: No, I am yet to pop the question.

#874

What did Poseidon do when the tenants living inside his sea monsters reached the end of their contracts?

RE-LEASE THE KRAKEN!

#873

Giovanna tried to add sugar to the mixture, but that only exacerbicated the problem.

#872

A: Why wasn't there a blog post on the second of November?

B: Because I wanted the readers to expect one, any second now, all day.

[Writer's note: I thought of this pun about three weeks ago and had to wait for the second of the month to use it.]

#871

This letter is from a concerned resident who has been disturbed by the noise of the mating bees. In it, he bemoans the bee moans.