#190

What did King Henry VI say after Joan of Arc was executed?

I got 99 problems but a witch ain't one.

#189

Tomorrow I will leave my hometown of Melbourne (in Victoria, in Australia) to spend three weeks in Prato (in Tuscany, in Italy). Oh Italy, Eu-roped me into this.

#188

What did the guitar say to the amplifier?

Follow my lead.

#187

If someone is cyan a lot, then they're probably feeling blue.

#186

What can be seen both at boxing matches and in the adult version of Sesame Street?

Going down for the Count.

#185

Jesus is the Redeemer of all. However, he has not been known to redeem fast food vouchers.

#184

It is a sad truth that those with bound feet cannot bound.

#183

I'm too nervous to break up with my epileptic girlfriend. I just know that she's going to have a fit.

#182

I love having a blind boyfriend. He doesn't even look at other women.

#181

I was going to make a joke about premature ejaculation, but it was too soon.

#180

I tried to stop shooting up drugs, but my efforts were in vein.

#179

Wi fi fo fum,
I'm leeching off the connection of an Englishman!

#178

What do you call it when the leader of the Vatican gets angry?

Apopelexy.

#177

I'm a fish atheist. I don't believe in the existence of cod.

#176

A: Everyone's talking about this new show about an urban police station! Do you want to watch it?

B: I don't think so. Cob dramas are too corny for my taste.

#175

A: Did you have fun at the Owl Watching Society's camp?

B: Yes, it was a hoot.

#174

A: What's wrong with me? Why can I never pick up?

B: You don't reach the telephone in time?

#173

A: I am shocked! I am flabbergasted! I have never been so surprised in my life! I have a good mind to write them a letter!

B: How are you going to convey all of that in one letter? Will it be the letter 'O'?

#172

A: Are you a horse?

B: Nay.

#171

Have you seen our futuristic toilet collection? We call it "Pees in a Pod".