Tuesday, 31 January 2017


What magical object could only be used to measure the body fat percentage of the true king?


Monday, 30 January 2017


What do you call the study of the financial impact of sustainable eating?


Sunday, 29 January 2017


Martina the leatherworker was deeply concerned that the beauty industry would put her out of business; she had fundamentally misunderstood the operational procedures of a tanning salon.

Saturday, 28 January 2017


What do you call the chrysalis in which calves are wrapped to mature into adults?

A cow-coon.

Friday, 27 January 2017


What process do new birds undergo when joining a pond?


Thursday, 26 January 2017


What do ibises celebrate on the 26th of January?

Bin-vasion Day.

Wednesday, 25 January 2017


What do you call an inclination towards particular purchases?

A buy-as.

Tuesday, 24 January 2017


What devices are used for the public humiliation of cows?

Beef stocks.

Monday, 23 January 2017


Sandy was deeply dedicated to cosplaying as a classical musician; every day, she practised her LARPeggios.

Sunday, 22 January 2017


Marco was very methodical when organising Christmas presents for his female siblings; he was very sister-matic.

Saturday, 21 January 2017

Friday, 20 January 2017


What did the crows do when they wanted to go into business?

They formed a caw-poration.

Thursday, 19 January 2017

Wednesday, 18 January 2017


What did the dogs do in the dog government?

They developed paw-licy.

Tuesday, 17 January 2017


What do you call inventiveness in taverns?


Monday, 16 January 2017


What heuristic self-awareness exercise must be completed in a great rush?

The Jo-hurry window.

Sunday, 15 January 2017


What underwater creature is known for the tight security systems around its babies?

The Lock Nest Monster.

Saturday, 14 January 2017


At first, the scientists thought it impossible that the main pollinating insect could go extinct; they found it un-bee-leave-able.

Friday, 13 January 2017


What do you call a section of a book about a British everyman?

A chap-ter.

Thursday, 12 January 2017


What do you call it when someone's spine is damaged by their education?


Wednesday, 11 January 2017


What do you call someone who runs a clowning workshop?

A fa-silly-tator.

Tuesday, 10 January 2017


What area of eastern Europe is noted for its variants of baseball using tin cylinders?

The Ball-can Peninsula.

Monday, 9 January 2017


What do you call the process of lulling patients to sleep prior to surgery by having them watch the dance of a stripper?


Sunday, 8 January 2017


Long after being liberated from the sweatshop, Yaxi wore the little metal cap on his index finger each morning, as a thimble of his oppression.

Saturday, 7 January 2017


How did the homosexual feel after being in the closet for years?


Friday, 6 January 2017


Why did Brenton refuse to accept an Australian car from his employer?

He wanted to be be-Holden to no one.

Thursday, 5 January 2017


Claudie the sniffer dog was highly valued by the drug squad; she was at the scentre of their operations.

Wednesday, 4 January 2017


What do you call a marketing specialist who sells water-based protection for castles?

A pro-moat-er.

Tuesday, 3 January 2017


How did the supervisor in the pork products kitchen tells his employees to work faster?

"Come on, get crackling!"

Monday, 2 January 2017


What do you call an architect who dreams of constructing cathedrals?


Sunday, 1 January 2017


What do you call the budget manager of a country with a worthless currency?

The trash-urer.