Saturday, 31 January 2015


The tree, having experienced many adventures in its youth, was ready to embark upon a new stage of life.

Friday, 30 January 2015


By what process can people give birth on a ship?


Thursday, 29 January 2015

Wednesday, 28 January 2015


Jerry was not very good at Jewish scripture study - in fact, he was Torah-ble.

Tuesday, 27 January 2015

Monday, 26 January 2015


Teacher: Use the word footprints in a sentence.

Student: The royal fetishist who tracked down Cinderella was a foot-prince.

Sunday, 25 January 2015


Teacher: Use the word congested in a sentence.

Student: When a criminal has made a joke, you could say that the con jested.

Saturday, 24 January 2015


Ruby reflected that it was difficult to make nameplates on such a tight badget.

Friday, 23 January 2015


The nameplate maker was asked to move out of the way, but wouldn't badge.

Thursday, 22 January 2015

Wednesday, 21 January 2015


After visiting salt lakes and spice markets, Steph considered herself to be a seasoned traveller.

Tuesday, 20 January 2015


A: I think his outfit needs a complete overhaul.

B: It's a business suit. Don't you think that overalls would be out of place?

Monday, 19 January 2015


While waiting for a more permanent space, the locksmith had set up a key-osk.

Sunday, 18 January 2015


Eric the con always attempted his deceits twice - he was very re-lie-able.

Saturday, 17 January 2015


The organ removal surgeon was very consistent; she always de-livered.

Friday, 16 January 2015

Thursday, 15 January 2015


The initial insertion of the drip was tricky, but it was all smooth saline from there.

Wednesday, 14 January 2015


What do you call the opening on a dandy gentleman's camera?

The dapperture.

Tuesday, 13 January 2015


What do you call a light-field camera that helps the user to strategise?


Monday, 12 January 2015

Sunday, 11 January 2015


A: Is this plane going to change direction?

B: I'm banking on it.

Saturday, 10 January 2015


The five-pointer looked unlikely, but the rugby player decided that it was worth a try.

Friday, 9 January 2015


The Australian footballer had a successful night at the gay bar - he scored a lot of behinds.

Thursday, 8 January 2015


The basketball player refused to use lines or spears when fishing; as she put it, she aimed for "nothing but net".

Wednesday, 7 January 2015


What did the grenadier shout after eating a curry?

"Fire in the hole!"

Tuesday, 6 January 2015


How did the woman feel after having an orgasm?

As happy as a clam.

Monday, 5 January 2015


The dean felt that forcing people to complete extensive paperwork in order to demonstrate financial need was very poor form.

Sunday, 4 January 2015


What kind of reptile repairs computer screens?

A monitor lizard.

Saturday, 3 January 2015


What did the sail say to the boat?

"Sorry to be such a drag."

Friday, 2 January 2015


After the invention of large passenger aircrafts, the aviation industry really began to take off.

Thursday, 1 January 2015


The dressmaker attempted stand-up comedy, hoping to have her audience in stitches; unfortunately, her jokes were only sew-sew.