Saturday, 30 November 2013


What does the small wolf say?

I don't know. Some kind of jack-call.

Friday, 29 November 2013


What did the choir director who was also a pirate say?

"Shiver me timbres!"

Thursday, 28 November 2013


The majority of the time taken to write a blog is spent in post production.

Wednesday, 27 November 2013


How Star Trek could have used font choices to save space:

"To go where no man has gone before."

Tuesday, 26 November 2013


People with synesthesia tend to associate Istanbul accents with a greenish-blue colour called turk-voice.

Monday, 25 November 2013


What process do vicars undergo to increase their lifespans?



Yesterday there was a small change in my six-pack muscles. Did you notice my ab-cents?

Saturday, 23 November 2013


What do you call someone who wanders without any specific direction?

A vague-abond.

Friday, 22 November 2013

Thursday, 21 November 2013


"These young streams are too distracted by technology," lamented the old Nile. "They don't even reed any more."

Wednesday, 20 November 2013


The Olympic Athletes' Dinner was an embarrassing occasion; the tables were segregated by race.

Tuesday, 19 November 2013


Since the global recession, the men's fashion industry has been in de-Klein.

Monday, 18 November 2013


What do you call a book that is held together by magic?


Sunday, 17 November 2013


Going several days without listening to Romantic-era music can leave some people Liszt-less.

Saturday, 16 November 2013


What do you call a thief who can't stop applauding?

A claptomaniac.

Friday, 15 November 2013


What do you call an involuntary spasm caused by Asperger's syndrome?

An autis-tic.

Thursday, 14 November 2013


The fisherman was surprised to find that, after hauling in his biggest catch ever, his net worth had decreased.

Wednesday, 13 November 2013


The chef's assistant was highly skilled at indicating the location of ingredients; he was an ideal kitchen pointer.

Tuesday, 12 November 2013


What is the name of the film genre that consists of tragic romances in futuristic settings?


Monday, 11 November 2013


The dentist's apprentice had to sign her contract during a procedure; it was an in-denture indenture.

Sunday, 10 November 2013


How is food cooked in soap operas?

Using gasp-powered stoves.

Saturday, 9 November 2013


Since beginning to design costumes for musical theatre productions, the leather workers had significantly improved their belts.

Friday, 8 November 2013


Why did the band go to the cliffs for training?

They had heard that they would be able to find a rock formation there.

Thursday, 7 November 2013


He tried to sell me a bunch of canvases that had been randomly splashed with paint, but I wasn't going to pay so much for a pile of old Pollocks.

Wednesday, 6 November 2013


What do you call a pirate who steals a square-rigged ship?

A brigand.

Tuesday, 5 November 2013


A: Did you find out who burst the balloons?

B: No, I am yet to pop the question.

Monday, 4 November 2013


What did Poseidon do when the tenants living inside his sea monsters reached the end of their contracts?


Sunday, 3 November 2013


Giovanna tried to add sugar to the mixture, but that only exacerbicated the problem.


A: Why wasn't there a blog post on the second of November?

B: Because I wanted the readers to expect one, any second now, all day.

[Writer's note: I thought of this pun about three weeks ago and had to wait for the second of the month to use it.]

Friday, 1 November 2013


This letter is from a concerned resident who has been disturbed by the noise of the mating bees. In it, he bemoans the bee moans.